Toro, Jaimie

A Blank Page
by Jaimie Toro

Grade 12
Prompt Code: S12A
IST: Christine Stewart
Evaluator: Heather
(read the Evaluator's Comment and Connections)

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             Each new school year, I am given the task of putting down on paper 500, 750, or 1000 of my original words about a book I had to read, a political issue that I don’t exactly understand, a specific person that I have to create, and a self-assessment about my writing. A writing prompt about how I write. It’s always been the easiest and least painful to accomplish, although this year that’s changed. Something about the straightforward assignment of illustrating my writing process, listing the few strengths I possess along with how they help me write, going through my abundant weaknesses, yet again, and including what I might possibly do to change them into strengths, and describing my all-but-nonexistent revision process seems somewhat daunting this year. Along with all that, I will also be including how I avoid past problems with writing. Writing has never been my strong point, although I hope to improve on this particular skill. Hopefully, this assessment of my abilities will help me to continue with that improvement.
            My writing process is a simple one. Unless I am writing a research paper, in which case I look up the basic information as the first step of the process, or a response to literature where I must first read the book before responding to it, my writing process is generally done in three steps. One, I either brainstorm, organizing what I have to write about into a bubble chart, or just jump right into it, turning on my computer and typing what comes to me. (I choose the latter option more often than not.) Two, I continue writing until I’ve finished, or take periodic breaks to let my brain recharge, then dive back in. In either case, I generally finish my prompt in one day. Once I get started, it’s easiest for me just to keep going. If I stop for too long, my ideas start to wander and are usually lost. Step three, I read over my prompt, checking for mechanical errors like spelling and punctuation. Of course, each prompt is never exactly the same, so therefore neither is my writing process always the same, but this is its general form.
            I have three strengths: I read every spare minute of the day, I think of the audience for whom I’m writing, and I write what I know. Reading is my biggest strength, though I feel I don’t use it to its full potential. Through reading, I have expanded my vocabulary and been able to see examples of writing techniques in the real world of writing, not just a textbook. This is especially helpful since I’ve found I comprehend and retain things better when I’m presented with them in a real-world aspect, versus that of the textbook. Reading also helps expose me to new and different styles of writing. Secondly, I think of my audience, which means I am able to write in a way that will invite the audience into my writing. I can use appropriate language for my readers, making it an easier and more satisfying read. Finally, I write what I know, which helps my writing to be clear and concise. When I write about something I know, I enjoy it more than writing about something I don’t have interest in. When I enjoy what I’m doing, or in this case, writing about, my final product is that much better for it. These strengths help to improve my writing and hopefully deliver the best result possible.
            My biggest weakness is fear of criticism. This has held me back in so much that I do and in so many things that I’ve tried to write. Thinking of my audience has contributed to this weakness. I think so much abut the audience and what their reaction will be that I start second-guessing myself and losing confidence in my writing. I also lack imagination. I find it difficult to uncover my own way of saying things, my own ideas on a certain point. I tend to revert back to things I know instead of trying to venture out and create. Writing what I know is like a double-edged sword. It’s one of my strengths, but it could also be seen as a weakness. I feel so safe when writing about something I have experience in that I don’t want to try anything else. I’m scared that if I don’t really know about what I’m writing, it won’t be any good, that people will be able to see my lack of knowledge or lack of interest. Because of this and some of my other weaknesses, I tend to only write when I must, for school. When I’m writing something school-related, there’s already an element of disinterest in it. I’m being told exactly what to write, how to write, how much to write, and when to write, which is then all I can think about. I try so hard to get everything in that is required that I end up with something that’s not me. By writing as minimally as possible, I’m unable to grow in this area. Another weakness is my indecisiveness. I have to start something twenty times before I’ll finally accept it and move on. All of my weaknesses could be fixed with two more things: more confidence in myself and my abilities, and writing for purposes not related to academics and for no one in particular. These things are easier said than done, but they are the ways I see to help me improve in my writing.
            My revision process is usually done as I write. I rarely make any major changes once I’ve finished something. As I’m writing, I constantly go back over my writing and correct and revise on the spot. I find that once I’m done with a piece, it’s best to be done with it. If I keep going over and over it, I start second-guessing everything that I’ve written. Based on comments I’ve gotten from evaluators, I have made major changes to my writing, and it has usually been for the better. But without those comments, I’m at a loss as to what would improve my writing, so I leave my final draft as it is, rather than risk changing it unnecessarily.
            People say that writing is a way to express yourself, but the only thing I want to express when in the process of writing is pure frustration. Getting started, procrastinating, and developing ideas all lead to this frustration. I procrastinate because I know how hard it is for me to get started. I know that once I’ve started, I won’t be able to develop my ideas properly. So I wait till the last minute and struggle with these things in a shorter amount of time. These problems could be avoided by simply starting my prompts earlier.
            Composition is, for the most part, an effort of slow diligence and steady perseverance, to which the mind is dragged by necessity or resolution. – Samuel Johnson I found this quote as I was preparing to write this essay and thought that it summed up what I felt: for me, writing is a slow process that takes determination, and I usually have to force myself to do it out of necessity, but I can do it. Though my strengths aren’t abundant, they are strengths and help me a great deal. My weaknesses can be changed to strengths with time, patience, and practice. My writing process, including revision, could probably use some updating, but I have a process and I’ve stuck with it so far, which has helped me get to this point. I feel that, taking into consideration all these things that I’ve written about, in time I will be able to grow from them. Maybe I won’t become the next best-selling author, but maybe I will be able to get to a place where I’m confident in my writing and myself, which really is all I need right now.

Writing Program Evaluator Heather comments:

Jaimie’s essay, “A Blank Page,” provides a thoughtful analysis of how she writes and how she develops confidence to become an even better writer. She carefully addresses all parts of the prompt, including observations about her writing and revision processes, strengths and weaknesses, and steps taken to enhance her writing. Her well-developed and articulated ideas enable the reader to easily understand the points she makes. For instance, in the paragraph about her strengths, Jaimie notes that reading is her greatest strength and then provides a list of reasons about how reading has helped with her writing. This essay indicates that Jaimie possesses insights about herself as a writer, as well as the ability to present these insights in a clear and perceptive manner.

Connections:

*To explore the writing self-assessment mode further, see the other February '07 Essays of the Month by John Marsh, Amanda Toro, and Carlie Westerman .

*After reading all four writing self-assessments, what do you see in common about the way these four writers address this prompt? What do you see that they do differently in their self-assessments?

*Jaimie quotes Samuel Johnson in her conclusion paragraph, and reflects on why his quote is relevant to her writing process. Is there a quote you have read that reflects your writing process?