Davis, Samuel

Stranded in Space
by Samuel Davis

Grade 5
Prompt Code: N5B
IST: Sarah Evans
Evaluator: Wendy B.
(read the Evaluator's comment and Connections)

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Prologue

            I am beginning the space adventure of a lifetime. I, along with four robots, am traveling to Mars. My mission is to explore the ice cap on Mars.
            The robots that are joining me on my mission were built by N.A.S.A. They were made to pilot, navigate, engineer and repair this highly sophisticated spacecraft. The robots are made of titanium alloy. Each robot has a different stripe color to indicate its job. There are four job colors: red = pilot, yellow = engineer, blue = repair bot, and green = navigator.
            My spacecraft’s name is the FQ-1 Fox, and it is designed to be extremely fast and quiet. There are stripes of red, white and blue on the sides of the ship; there is also a picture of the flag of the U.S.A. on each side.

Chapter 1 – Pre-Launch

            I closed my journal and sighed. I was nervous, not just because I was going to be launched into space, but also because I was going to be the first one to do it in a “FQ” (Fast and Quiet), manned only by four robots and myself. Time to try to sleep.
            The next day, I was on the bus that was taking me to the launch site at Cape Canaveral. I closed my eyes and fell asleep (I had hardly slept the night before). I was off and dreaming again about my mission. As usual in my dreams, I was in space. We were going to Mars, but I was all alone. I had been flying the spaceship I had always dreamed about, but then there was a loud BANG and my spaceship was falling down towards a huge meteor. And then, like always, a robot appeared on the captain’s flight screen and told me that the starboard wing had been damaged and I was on a collision course with a meteor. This time I didn’t wake up because of my nightmare; someone was shaking me and telling me that we were 5 minutes from the launch pad. I looked out the window and saw people on the streets waving American flags. I looked more closely, and beyond the waving crowds and trees, I saw the FQ-1 Fox.
            It was not like the old rocket ships I used to see on TV being launched. It was much smaller, and looked more like a Sci Fi spaceship than a real space shuttle. As we turned the corner, I could see it fully with its 4-pack rocket boosters. I could see the small compartment on the back of the ship that looked like a fat shark fin, which was the captain’s quarters. It was the room I would be staying in on my journey.

Chapter 2 – Launch

            As I was climbing into the spaceship, a thin-necked metal head with two camera-like eyes popped up from the hatch. It said to me, “Greetings, Captain, I am QR Red.”
            I waved at the robot and climbed in. I was too nervous and excited to talk. I climbed through the small tunnel that lead to the captain’s quarters and looked around. Just how it looked in training, I said to myself. I held onto the rail as I clambered up to my seat and strapped in with a zip, click! I reached for the microphone and said, “All clear for take off!”
            A voice came through the radio to me: “Begin launch sequence when ready.”
            I clicked the launch sequence button. There was another voice; it said, “Countdown beginning now… 10, 9, 8…” My heart was pounding, “6, 5, 4…” Here it comes, I thought. “2, 1…” Here we go!
            My eyes were closed and my heart rushed. I felt the G forces pulling on my body as the thrusters went from 0 to 100 miles per hour in no time at all. As we climbed, we gained more and more speed. I thought I might black out, but luckily I didn’t. From the radio, I could hear cheers. I heard another voice: “You have now exited Earth’s atmosphere.” Excitement rushed through my body. Like all my dreams as a child, I had entered outer space. Now I was going to be the first person to set foot on Mars, the Red Planet.

Chapter 3 – Meteor Shower

            One of my computer screens lit up and a robot appeared. It looked like the one I had seen before, but with stripes of green on its head area. It said, “Sir, we are on a collision course with a small group of meteors.” My heart skipped a beat. Could it be another dream? No, this was much different. I could hear the thrusters and feel the sweat on my skin. This is NOT a dream.
            I quickly gave the emergency orders that I had learned in training. “Reduce the main thruster’s speed.” I heard the whine of the thruster’s deceleration.
            As I sat back in my seat with a sigh of relief, there was a loud BANG and a flash of light. A large hole had opened up in the universe. It looked like space itself was being ripped apart. I felt the ship start going towards it, and because of the force of the black hole, the meteors we had just diverted came hurtling back towards us. “Full throttle to the port thrusters!” We started slowly banking left. “All engines full throttle!” As we continued to bank to the left, a huge meteor came into our view.
            The screen came on again and the pilot robot appeared. “Sir, there is a meteor 100 meters from our position.” I knew we would not be able to turn away from this one. Now I really wished it was a dream.
            “Lower the landing gear. All slow ahead. Prepare to land.” If we turned back now, we’d be destroyed. Our only hope was to try to land on the meteor. We slowly headed toward the huge rock. It felt like hours, but must have been only minutes until I heard the crack of the landing gear as it snapped in half on impact. The spaceship went skidding across the surface of the meteor. It stopped as the ground beneath us cracked and we fell into an underground cavern. There was total darkness for a few seconds, and then the lights came back on.
            I was sprawled in my chair, dazed but not injured. I got back up and grabbed for the microphone, but all I felt was something hard sticking up from where it should have been. When I looked up, I saw a huge rock sticking out from my control panel. I reached for my secondary mic and said, “Repair bot, report to the captain’s deck.” No answer. I looked out the window to check my surroundings. There, sticking out of the top of the ship, was the rest of the needle-like rock. The ship was impaled on it, and as I looked further up, I spotted the repair bot also impaled on the tip of the rock.
            Suddenly, I heard, “Clank, clink, clank,” and then there was an explosion. I flew back and hit the opposite wall. I quickly got up with an aching head and ran to the back window to see what had happened. The back thrusters had exploded and were now on fire. Fire? Fire needs oxygen. I ran to the air hatch, not knowing why. By the time I realized what I was doing, I became the first human to set foot on a meteor, and without a space suit!
            I breathed in the air and waited for the three last robots to get outside. As they rolled out, the pilot bot said, “Where is Robot Blue?” I pointed to where it was impaled. All three robots turned and looked.
            The navigator bot asked, “How will we get out of here s…”
            The pilot bot interrupted and said, “We could use the repair pod to escape, but it only carries two.”
            “Great,” I said, “I’ll go with the navigator bot while you other two set up a base camp.”
            The pilot robot interjected, “But the pod can only be opened by a code. Do you have it?”
            With a stutter I said, “I programmed it into the repair bot.” We all looked up at the now-on-fire robot. “Perhaps we can extinguish the fire and remove the computer chip.” With a loud BANG, the repair bot exploded. “Or not.”

Chapter 4 – Escape

            For three days, the engineer bot had been plugged into the main computer searching for the code. He had found nothing. I was about to go to sleep when my computer screen lit up with the face of the repair bot. It said, “I have four codes for you to use.”
            He told me the codes and I quickly wrote them down. I ran towards the repair pod and typed in the codes. All four codes were denied. My mind raced. Out of frustration and desperation, I took out my small hand gun and banged it against the ship’s lock. I thought about shooting the lock, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to close it again. Then I went to the back of the computer and hit it with the gun. The small door to the computer opened up. I fumbled through the wires and found the memory chip. I took it out and called for the engineer bot. It came: “Yes, sir.”
            “Take this chip and use every password and code you can think of until this pod door opens.”
            “Yes sir,” it said and rolled away.
            I sat beside the robot watching the computer screen. I saw code after code pop up and be denied. Finally, about two hours later, I heard three beeps and a click. I ran as quick as a rabbit through the ship. When I got to the pod, the door was open! I yelled out in victory and ran inside the pod. I picked up the mic inside and called for the navigator bot. It appeared and said, “Reporting for duty, sir.”
            “Tell the other bots to start making a base camp while you and I go back to Earth to get help.”

Epilogue

We made it back to Earth safely (thanks to the navigator bot). The other two robots made a base camp and discovered a huge oil source on the meteor, solving the U.S. oil shortage. I was given a medal of honor by the President of the United States for my great find, and the other robots were safely brought back to Earth.
Next year, I will attempt to land on Mars again.

Writing Program Evaluator Wendy B. comments:

“Stranded in Space” offers dramatic scenes and events that Samuel’s audience can readily imagine, thanks to his use of narrative strategies like description and dialogue. Notice Samuel’s unusual and effective focus on descriptive details drawn from the senses of hearing and touch. In the story, we hear sounds like the ‘zip, click’ of a seat belt and the ‘clank, clink, clank’ and ‘BANG’ of a loud explosion. We feel such vivid details as the sweat on the narrator’s skin and his heart skipping a beat. In addition, Samuel’s use of a back story (the history or previous experiences of a character) makes his narrator memorable and believable: we learn not only about his current situation, but also about his recurring nightmares and his childhood wish to fly. Also effective is the way in which we see the narrator’s thought processes at work, as he slowly realizes that the meteor has breathable air or races against time to find the computer code. At the end of this wonderful story, when the narrator says, “Next year, I will attempt to land on Mars again,” I’m left hoping there will be a sequel … aren’t you?

Connections:

*For another space adventure, read Emily Cicconi's "Sarah's World in Deep Space" in Illuminations, the 2005-2006 Gorman Anthology.

*Slowly re-read "Stranded in Space," paying close attention to the different narrative strategies (such as description, dialogue, and back story) woven throughout the story. Then, when you next write a story, try to use a wide range of narrative strategies as well.