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The Island
by Emily Brown

Grade 2
Prompt Code: Poem
IST: Jennifer Derksen
Evaluator: Melissa
(read the Evaluator's comment and Connections)

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The shiny blue waves crash upon the golden, glittery sand.
Beneath the waves, the beautiful Sea-woman paints
The inside of the abalone shells with her rainbow magic.
All around her are fish, their silver scales sparkling
In the deep blue ocean.

Above the ocean wonder-land the island rests.
The green jungle leaves glisten in the hot sun.
Further in the jungle, the great tree stands,
Its roots growing deep into the mossy terrain.

A tiger sits on top of his rock.
His powerful voice echoes around the jungle
Startling birds that scatter through the sky.

A gang of monkeys race through the trees
And big flowers bloom in a myriad of colors.
I stand in the middle of all this action – amazed.

Writing Program Evaluator Melissa comments:

          In this poem, Emily does an excellent job of describing a larger-than-life scene.  She uses specific, advanced vocabulary (“abalone shells,” “mossy terrain”) to create visual pictures, and she occasionally employs unexpected descriptors (“startling” describes birds) to keep that picture exacting.  In each stanza, she moves to a new place, so the poem ultimately takes on a sweeping panoramic view; it shows us far more than a single person could see at once.  Throughout the piece, Emily uses poetic techniques such as alliteration (“silver scales sparkling”) to add auditory interest to the poem.  This language complements the beauty of the scenes she describes.  Her final line adds a thoughtful and emotional comment on the entire piece:  “I stand in the middle of all this action—amazed.” 

Connections:

*To read another of Emily's poems, read "By the Sea, Ocean" in Illuminations, the 2005-2006 Gorman Anthology.

*"The Island" is filled with great details and description of the scene throughout. In fact, the speaker (or "I") of the poem doesn't enter the poem until the fabulous last line. Try this technique yourself when writing a poem: use lots of figurative and descriptive language to describe a scene, but wait until the end to use the word "I." When you do use "I," use it to show your perspective, or your relationship to the scene.

*Parents and teachers: there are a number of great books on teaching poetry to children, primary among them Kenneth Koch's book Wishes, Lies, and Dreams. Gillian Jerome and The Poetry Center at the University of Arizona recently published a book of poetry lessons for young children (4-6 year olds) titled Verse! that is an excellent resources as well.